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Bacolod City, Philippines Saturday, October 11, 2014

I have a big inferiority complex

Dear Tita,

I was not able to finish my course because my father died when I was still a sophomore college student, and his long illness left huge debts, that my mother had to pay. She had to sell our house and we ended up renting a small apartment. I got a job as a call center agent to help my mother with the monthly expenses.

I had been working as a call center agent for more than two years when I met Dan, a young executive working for a big company. We fell in love and soon he proposed. I was hesitant at first because I still had to help my mother financially. But Dan assured me that I could still go on helping her even if we were married, so I said yes.

After our wedding, Dan’s mother asked us to live with them as their big house had a lot of rooms and we were saving to buy our own house in a nice subdivision. We thought it was a good idea. Big mistake.

It wasn’t long before I began to feel inferior living with them. Dan’s parents are both successful – his Dad has a successful business while his mother and sisters have their own careers. Whenever they had a family gathering, I would feel left out when they would talk about business or their work. Even their friends are successful career people, who talk the same language with them. I would find myself retreating to my room or the kitchen when I could not join in the topic of their conversation. Dan would later call my attention to it, but I couldn’t tell him how uncomfortable I felt being with his accomplished friends and family.

It is very difficult for me to tell anyone of my predicament. It makes me feel so insecure. What should I do?

COLLEGE DROPOUT

Dear College Dropout,

I suggest you go back to finish your college course with your husband’s help. I have seen a lot of married women do this and they have been successful.

In the meantime, you should read, read, read. Read the newspapers, books or surf the Internet for more information on various subjects. You’ll find a lot of interesting things that could help you keep up with the conversation in your gatherings.

Stop feeling inferior. You have your own skills, talent and knowledge that other people do not have. Strive to improve yourself with every method you can find. It’s really all up to you.

TITA

 

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