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Bacolod City, Philippines Saturday, August 5, 2017

Is she having an affair?

Dear Tito,

I have been following your columnfor many months now and I am always encouraged to read some real life stories of people. Finally I felt the need to write you about the situation with my daughter-in-law.

I am 60 years old and a widow. My 2 children are now married and have their individual families. My eldest son runs his own business while his wife is a medical representative, they also have 2 children. My youngest daughter and her family are working abroad, they have one daughter.

My eldest son visited me one day and told me that he and his wife are experiencing some problems. My son feels that his wife is having an affair with her officemate, also a medical representative. He has confronted her about it but she keeps denying it, until one day he followed her to work. He was surprised to see that, instead of going to their office, she drove to a local subdivision. He continued to follow her and saw her go into the house of the guy. He patiently waited inside his car and, after almost 4 hours his wife went out of the house and drove off.

That night he said, he confronted his wife about what he saw. She admitted that she went to the house of the guy who was a medical doctor and did a sales call. But my son could not believe her. He thinks his wife is having an affair with the medical doctor.

I really pity my son. He is such an honest-to-goodness husband, working so hard to provide the needs of his family.

I am about to talk to my daughter-in-law regarding the issues I am hearing from my son, but what is holding me back is that I have to respect their privacy and would like this matter resolved by both of them. I just feel sad that my son is hurting and doubtful about his wife.

Concerned Mother-in-law



Dear Concerned Mother-in-law,

I understand your situation now. We, as parents, would always like to see our children and their families enjoying their life together. The situation with your daughter-in-law is abnormal. You might need first to understand that this is a marital problemand they are the ones who can solve it. We need to respect their privacy and allow them to correct or repair what has been damaged in their relationship.

Probably it is still too early to judge your daughter-in-law based on what she is saying. But whether it is true or not that she is having an affair, your world has become a confusing, scary place, full of hurt, shame and anger. Marital unfaithfulness might be one of the most emotionally demanding and hurtful things anyone will ever experience.

I would encourage you to talk to your son about this again and try to gather all the facts to establish whether his wife is having an affair or not.

In your situation, do not pre-judge your daughter-in-law yet. For all you know, she might be telling the truth.

Praying for you.




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