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Bacolod City, Philippines Wednesday, August 30, 2017

His wife thinks
she's still single

Dear Tito,

I am 65 years old, a retired banker and my wife died of breast cancer almost 10 years ago. Our 2 children are all professionals and have their own families. The good thing is they all live in the same subdivision, and I get to see them very often, especially my grandchildren.

Five years ago I met this single mother who was 18 years my junior. We both liked each other and decided to go for a civil wedding. At first my children did not like my decision but I explained to them that I love this woman and we want to spend our lives together. Later on they accepted my decision.

My new wife got pregnant 2 years ago and gave birth to a baby boy. Everything went very well with our relationship and I have learned to accept her first child from another man.

But recently, I noticed that she enjoys going out with her friends and mostly during weekends. This has become a pattern and I started to question such activities. She always reasons that I have to give her space because this is just a stress reliever as she's so focused on taking care of our baby and her child.

Honestly, I don't have a problem with that. In fact I want her to enjoy but sometimes she would come home very late or early morning. She has also started to drink and smoke. I addressed that problem with her but most of the time she would tell me to leave her alone.

My nephew come to our house and said he has seen my wife often with some friends drinking and having a good timein abar. The next time he saw her she was alone with a male friend.

Thinking that something was not right, he decided to tell me.

I confronted my wife about this and she told me that it was just pure fun and nothing malicious was going on. At first I believedher but once she left her purse at the table and it was open. I peeped into it and saw a condom! I was devastated and started to think that shewas doing something wrong.

Disappointed Husband


Dear Disappointed Husband,

Marrying a woman who is 18 years your junior is like raising up your own daughter. Your wife right now might have missed her younger years of going out with her friends. Yes, she was a single mother before you guys got married and that shows she had gotten involved with men then.

You married her when she was still enjoying her single-life years. We cannot continue to dwell on her past. What she needs to understand is that she is now a wife to you and a mother to your own child.

I suggest you sit down with her and share what you feel about the situation. Tell her to be honest with you on why she's acting that way. As a husband, I would advise her not to go out with her friends often so that you can spend more time togetherspecially during weekends, maybe plan some activities both of you will enjoy. I am not saying that it's wrong for her to go out with her friends.

You guys might also need some professional help from a counsellor or spiritual adviser. You may consider this right away.

Praying for you.





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