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Bacolod City, Philippines Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Can I win her back?

Dear Tito,

I have been wanting to write you but did not have the courage to do so, until now.

I am 40 years and separated from my wife and 3 children. I had a roller-coaster ride with my life. I was not a good provider to my family, had a lot of vices and was not faithful to my wife.To make matters worst I am jobless.

My wife left me almost 4 years ago and my parents have not forgiven me until now. Our oldest sibling whom I consider my big brother and confidant, tries to help me as he is the only one who understands me. He always counsels me to try to fix my life and try to win my family back.

One day I decided to seek counsel from a spiritual leader, and with the help of God, I was able to re-focus my life again and surrendered everything to Him.

I have been working as a call center agent for one year now and trying to pick up the pieces. One of my plans is to get back to my family and work out my relationship with my wife and children.

When I started communicating to my wife, I was surprised to learn that she has been in a relationship for the past 2 years and is very happy with the guy. They even plan to settle down once our legal separation or church annulmentis approved. I did not knowthis so I was shocked to hear it.

After our short conversation, I felt reallybad and did not know what to do. I think I am losing hope about my chances of winning back my family.

Sad Husband

Dear Sad Husband,

In most cases like these, there is usually a lot of hurt, pain, tension, anger, bitterness and resistance on the part of the wife. Always remember, women are very emotional.

I believe your wife went through a lot with you, and now that she has recovered she has decided to forget her ordeal with you and move on with her life.

I am not saying that there is nomore hope for reconciliation, but both of you are in different stages of your lives. She is in the stage of settling down with a different guy, and you are in the stage of reconciliation with her.

I've seen some of the seemingly most hopeless of relationships restored and marriages saved. But it takes a willingness on the part of both spouses, to go through a marriage renewal process that works. But for now, I see thisas far from being possible.

You have to be patient with her as you try to win her and make that process of reconciliation.Maybe both your families can help bring you guys together again.

Praying for a miracle for your marriage to be restored. God bless you.

Tito

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