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Bacolod City, Philippines Saturday, October 21, 2017

My mother is having an affair

Dear Tito,

I am 22 years old, single and working for a local company in Bacolod City. I have 2 younger sisters and our mother is a government teacher.

My sad story started almost 5 years ago, when my father died of a sudden heart attack. Things were not the same anymore in the family. We really miss our father.

What I am thankful foris our mother who really worked hard to provide for our needs. She has dedicated her time to us and never entertained thoughts of remarrying.

One day a good friend of my mother came to see me at my office and told me about her concern that my mother is having an affair with her co-teacher who is a married man. At first I did not believe her but she told me that she has seen my mother with the guy a lot of times together. In fact, some teachers have been asking about their relationship.

It has been almost 5 years now since our father died and I was shocked about what I heard. At first, I just did not believe it and told myself it was probably the product of a malicious mind.

When I got home that day, I confronted my mother about the issue. She denied everything and just told me not to believe the stories or lies that have been thrown at her.

To my surprise, I received another visitor at my office and this time it was the wife of the guy people said my mother was having a relationship with. We had a long conversation and she told me that it has been some time that she has noticed this situation. She even showed me some messages that she got through his mobile phone and social media.

I was very devastated to know that my mother lied to us about the relationship. But up to now I have not confronted her again about it. To be honest, I don't have the courage to talk to her again. I love my mother so much, knowing how lonely she had been for many years. I know she needs somebody to tell her that there is no future with this relationship that she is having.

Concerned Daughter

 

Dear Concerned Daughter,

I understand how you feel about losing a parent, not only that you will surely miss that person but the burden of what is left behind especially how your mother has dedicated her life to the 3 of you.

The situation right now with your mother is something that needs to be given much attention but how to approach it is another matter.

I believe she was at her lowest time when she started her relationship with the married guy. Remember she has been by herself for the last 5, years but this does not justify her action.

Since your mother is an educator, she knows very well the boundaries of having a relationship. I would suggest to approach this matter with lots of love and compassion to her and not be judgmental over the issue.

I know that you love your mother so much so let her feel this and continue to express to her this love,so she will be more open to share and pour her heart out when she is ready.

Praying for you.

Tito

 


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