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Bacolod City, Philippines Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Her teen-age girl got pregnant

Dear Tito,

I am 45 years old and a full-time mother to my 2 daughters who are both in high school already. My husband has been a registered nurse in London for many years now and comes home at least once a year.

We have discussed joining him in London to be together and agreed that we might make it happen when both our girls finish high school.

A couple of months ago, a big challenge happened to our eldest daughter. She confessed that her high school boyfriend of one year got her pregnant. When I confronted her boyfriend, he completely denied it.

What he told me was that during a get-together with other friends they had a couple of drinks and, because he started not feeling well, he asked his best friend to bring his girlfriend home.

I confronted my daughter about it and she admitted this. She said it happened very fast after the party, where they all got drunk and she was not able to control herself. She could not recall what really took place but remembered that he had sex with the guy.

This is really a shocking news to me, as her boyfriend has decided to leave her, and the other guy has not taken the responsibility.

I told my husband about what happened to our daughter and he is really very disappointed and mad at her. Because of his work, he cannot come home yet.

My daughter has stopped schooling because she is embarrassed about what happened to her. She stays home most of the time and has not been open about what she is feeling now. I tried to reach out to her but she has not been very receptive. Even her sister has been affected by the situation.

Hurting Mother

Dear Hurting Mother,

I understand how you and your husband feel right now. We always want to see a bright future for our children. I believe this is just one of the setbacks that your family is facing right now.

What I can see is that your husband is so helpless in this situation. Because of work responsibility he cannot travel back home. He is very mad because he can not do anything.

You being the mother, and taking care of your daughters, it is normal that you become emotional in this situation. Be level-headed and focus on how to help your daughter face up to her unwanted condition. This is also the best time for you to gather the family together via socmed or goup chat/video call how to resolve her problem as a family.

She needs people to talk to and not to condemn her for what she did. Your support and the unconditional love that she needs from all of you, guysis badly needed right now.

You can assure your husband that you are in control of the situation and he doesn't have to worry if you as a family have reached an agreement to help her every step of the way. Your full support and understanding will help her pick up the broken pieces of her life and start anew.

Also, seek professionalcounseling, or a spiritual adviser for a regular session with your daughter.

Praying for you.

TITO

 


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