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Bacolod City, Philippines Saturday, January 13, 2018

My brother has a gayfriend

Dear Tito,

I am 38 years old, married and have 2 kids. My husband was been a seafarer for many years now. I would say we are blessed to have everything in life. Even my 2 siblings working abroad are doing well, too. My older brother who is still single is working in Canada and my younger sister is living with her husband and their 2 kids in New Zealand. Both our parents are now retired and receiving a pension. But most of the time, we try to help them with their financial needs.

My problem started recently only when my older brother came home for a short vacation. He asked me to pick him up at the airport, which I did. Little did I know that he had somebody with him on this trip whom I met at the airport.

My first impression was not good when I met his friend. I noticed right away that he was gay. I was even more surprised when I knew they were staying in one room at our parents' house. I know it is none of my business trying to be involved in his personal life, but even my parents noticed the situation about his friend.

The worse scenario was when our father came home drunk and confronted my brother and his friend. In short, there was a big disagreement that night that resulted in them packing up their things and staying in a hotel that evening. That was the last time we saw our brother during that visit, I heard that they went back to Canada after their short vacation.

We have not heard from my brother since then and even on social media we don't have access anymore to his Facebook account.

Hurting Sister

Dear Hurting Sister,

I am sure there is a deep reason why your older brother opted to have this same-sex relationship. As far as I know, in some countries this is already legal and accepted. But in our culture in the Philippines being very religious, I am not sure if it is going to be accepted by most people.

I believe what happened that night with your father confronting your brother was a show of disgust and non-acceptance of the relationship.

Just like you and your family who are all hurting, for sure your brother is feeling that way, too. He is hurting because you don't accept what he has become and doing right now with his life. He believes that he loves his partner and wants you to accept him.

I am fully aware that this is part of a situation the whole family needs to talk about and plan some compromise for the feud to be settled soon.

Praying for you.

TITO

 


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