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Bacolod City, Philippines Wednesday, May 16, 2018
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with Ptr. Gary V. Visitacion
STARLIFE

My employersĺ son loves me

Dear Tito,

I am 30 years old and I have three children, all having different fathers.

I was not very careful about myself when it comes to relationship with men. Most of the men I got involved with in my life resulted in having me pregnant. Sad to say, most of them did not take that responsibility of supporting their child.

This was the reason why I decided to work as a domestic helper abroad and let my parents in Bacolod City take care of my children. I try to make sure that every month I send them money for their education and basic needs.

I am thankful that I have a very good employer. Both husband and wife have treated me just like their family member. They only have one son who is already 28 years old, still single and working for a big company.

Then I notice something different with their son, lately. He seems to be giving me some special attention. He would always show some respect and concern about my welfare. Until one day, I was surprised when he got back from work, he brought a bouquet of roses and gave it to me. Together with it, was a greeting card that said he cares for me so much and wants me to be his girlfriend.

I was really shocked by his gesture knowing that his parents might not approve the decision of their son. I also told him about my past, but he said he doesn’t care and what’s important is that he loves me and wants to spend his life with me.

This sudden turn of events makes me dumbfounded that I don’t know how to respond. He is one person who is not hard to love but my concern is my job with the family and my own family back in the Philippines.

Confused Woman

Dear Confused Woman,

Indeed this comes as a surprise. Especially when it involves the family that you serve or work for.

Apparently, I really do not know how close you are with the family and their values about their son’s personal life. Because they know who you are and your status, they might respond negatively of the relationship. Also, on the other side, there is already a certain degree of familiarity because they have known you for awhile.

I guess you just have to trust your feelings and judgment. First, you have to know if you also love him or not. Second, make sure he is aware of your past and clear with him that you are a mother 3 and breadwinner. Third, yes he is of legal age, but he is still living with his family, so in some ways they still have some authority over him.

I guess you also have to weigh things in the future if this relationship would end up you marrying him, not to mention your cultural and language differences

Praying for you.

TITO

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