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Bacolod City, Philippines Wednesday, May 15, 2019
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Tell Your Tito
with Ptr. Gary V. Visitacion

Betrayed and confused

Dear Tito,

I am 32 years old and working in a big BPO company here in Bacolod City. I am a single mother of 2 kids. I met this guy in my workplace and after being in a relationship with him for 6 months, I got pregnant. So, we decided to live together.

After a year, I got pregnant again with our second child; that was when he thought of wanting to be transferred to our Manila office because the pay was higher and he said we can follow him once he got established there.

After a couple of months, he called me and said our relationship is finally over because he is now getting married to another woman. I was really very devastated when I heard this. I felt betrayed and wanted to kill myself. But I thought of my two children and I decided to focus my attention and energy to raising my kids by myself and, of course, with the help of my family.

It has been almost 2 years now that I have not spoken to him. I even have not approached him for money to support our kids. My family and I just don’t want to ask any support from the father of my kids.

To my surprise, he came to visit us at our place. My parents allowed him to come inside because he humbly asked permission to see my kids and me. I was really shocked to hear that he is now separated from his wife, whom he caught cheating on him. He found out that his wife had an affair with his officemate. According to his wife, even their second child was fathered by the guy that she had an affair with. He even mentioned during our conversation if I can still forgive him for what he had done and if I’d be willing to come back and start a new life with him together with our two kids.

I have not answered his question and I don’t know if I still love him. It has been almost 2 years now that I have moved on with my life.

Confused Mother

Dear Confused Mother,

I don’t blame you if you have not made any commitment yet with your former live-in partner and father of your two kids. It has been 2 years that you have forgotten him and moved on with your life with the help of your parents.

To forgive him is one thing but to spend life with him again is another thing that you have to process a million times.

My concern is that how genuine is he with his proposal and commitment with you now? What if his legal wife would also ask for forgiveness and wanted him back? Will he again consider it because he is legally married to her?

This should bother you right now and think hard the odds that go with it. Just don’t fall into the trap, again, of committing yourself and he might dump you for her the second time.

Praying for you.


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