One of the final duties an empty nester parent has to fulfill is to teach the little one that is not so little anymore how to drive. It’s a life skill she ironically won’t need when she goes to university in a first world country where cars are not a necessity because of a highly efficient public transportation system in cities that are actually walkable and bicycle friendly.
However, because driving is a necessary life skill here in the Philippines, it is something she has to learn before she goes away for four years, because if she doesn’t learn it now, there might be no more reason to learn to drive anymore. The strategy and failsafe is to learn and get a license now, and maybe get some practice every time she goes home for school breaks. Hopefully the newly learned skill becomes like riding the proverbial bike, another life skill that we made sure to teach our kids. The goal is to make sure she can drive and has an active license before she strikes out on her own, just in case she needs it, wherever she may end up in the future.
It’s a bit more challenging for our student driver because she has to learn to drive a manual transmission, since that is the kind of car she will be practicing on. On the bright side, that additional skill means that if her adventures take her to Europe, she can still drive, as stick shifts are still a common sight there. I’m just hoping that the added degree of difficulty doesn’t discourage her from learning how to drive and getting a license before September, when she has to leave for university. It’s already tough enough convincing members of their generation to learn how to drive, which is surprising for someone who came from a generation where we had to beg our parents to let us drive as soon as we turned legal.
Anyway, what got me thinking was when we were going through the basics and rules of driving, which naturally came with that sobering realization and reminder of just how chaotic the art and science of driving a vehicle remains in this country, particularly in our island, where many decades after I learned to drive in absolute chaos, the rules are still suggestions and enforcement remains spotty at best.
Having a newbie driver beside you, one who used to be totally uninvolved as a passenger but is now observing and taking mental notes, and asking why and how some crazy ass moves are tolerated by motorists, pedestrians, and the authorities, is a sobering reminder of just how messed up “normal” is on Philippine roads.
This supposedly organized chaos in our roads is something that has already been normalized for experienced drivers who have spent a lifetime honing our skills and reflexes to be super alert and defensive all the time, because that is absolutely necessary in a world where there are no rules and anything is possible, as long as the driver can get away with whatever it is they want to do. Especially if they turn on their hazard lights… right?
Basic rules such as keeping intersections open, observing and respecting right of way, giving priority to pedestrians, knowing what double yellow lines mean, are among the so many others that are regularly violated if you take time to notice. When my budding student driver who is merely observing asks me about those blatant violations, all I can tell her is to try her best to follow the rules that the theoretical driving course supposedly taught her, even if nobody else seems to do it on the road in real life. Hopefully one day, if the authorities and the drivers cooperate, there could be more order and discipline on our roads, and the balance might shift in favor of order instead of chaos.
This project of trying to help my daughter learn how to drive has reminded me of just how many terrible drivers are on our roads, and how it is almost impossible for those who are just learning not to pick up the bad habits and attitudes of everyone else who gets away with almost anything in an environment where there is no fear of law enforcement.
It makes me wonder if there is any hope for the next generation of Filipino drivers. For now, I know that my kids may learn to drive, but won’t be driving that much yet, which gives me hope that maybe they can end up in a society where they either don’t need to drive or own a car at all, or where drivers are much more disciplined than the ones we have here. But if they do end up here and have to drive, I guess they’ll just have to figure it out the way I did. Just don’t hit other cars or people and you’ll be fine… I guess.*
