Our eldest will be home for a couple of weeks this Christmas, and it feels strange but at the same time familiar to have everyone in the house again.
If Christmas used to be about giving presents and Santa Clausing when we were younger parents, it has now become an opportunity and excuse to spend time together because that’s when everyone can be home. Christmas might not be a big thing in Japan, where our college kid is studying, but they do have a winter break which means that if we plan it properly in advance, reasonably priced airline tickets would allow us to spend time together at home during the most wonderful time of the year.
Of course if we had a bigger budget, we could be the ones going to Japan to experience winter together, but it is cheaper for only one family member to do the traveling, and at the same time, as Bing Crosby would say, nothing really beats being home for Christmas, even if we only have fake snow and reindeer figurines.
Christmas hits different when you reach this life stage where the nest is starting to become empty. As a parent, looking forward to having the gang back together, even for just a while, is like being a kid waiting for Santa Claus. I don’t know if the kids feel the same way about it, because the number of wrapped presents under the tree have been on a steady decline, but the idea of cash presents should still be enough to make them excited for the holidays in general. Hopefully the sentimentality their parents are going through is also seeping through.
I thought that cynical old me was able to avoid the romanticized and commercialized holiday shticks like Valentines as a couple and Halloween for the kids, but I guess you can’t run away from feeling sentimental during Christmas, especially as the kids grow older and start to find their own way in the world. If it’s any consolation, at least I don’t feel the need to buy more presents in order to feel more “Christmassy” when all I need to feel happy is having a full house for a couple of weeks.
I’m guessing that as we all grow older, the kids will probably leave the house (or the country) either for school, work, or life; and Christmas could be that only time of year when the whole brood is together. That’s when I’ll probably start singing to myself “They’ll be home by Christmas” as soon as the ‘ber’ months roll in.
It’s interesting to see life changing in real time, this time from the lens of Christmas. In my case, I’ve been through the stage of being a Santa believer, gift receiver, homecomer, parent, gift giver, and soon, being the one who waits for the home comers. After that, if it happens, then I guess I might get to see Christmas through the eyes of a grandparent.
From my point of view at this life stage, Christmas has become less of a commercialized or even religious holiday, but more as that time of year when my nuclear family can be complete. And as long as everyone is healthy, happy, and spending time together, that togetherness would be an awesome Christmas present to keep getting year after year.
Togetherness is something we take for granted as parents, when the kids are growing up, when there are days that you just want to get away from them for some peace and quiet or “me time.” However, as everyone grows older and more independent, getting everyone in the same room becomes more difficult, and then soon, getting everyone in the same home also becomes a challenge. With the world becoming much smaller these days, getting everyone in the same country or time zone can even become an issue. That’s when Christmas becomes one of those few opportunities for everyone to be home, that is, if the parents are willing to bribe the kids to come home with free airline tickets. For those who have the kids living away from home, the free food and laundry is also an attractive perk.
Going home for Christmas never gets old. If you come to think of it, it gets even better the older you get. Seeing everybody at your folks’ home, the one you grew up in, is a feeling that just can’t be replicated. I don’t get to have that anymore, both my parents having passed away, but I would probably sell a part of my soul to be able to spend a Christmas with them, along with my siblings, get the entire clan together, from the grandparents all the way to the grandchildren. It would probably be a riot as well, but I’d take that as part of my grownup Christmas wish when I get to be that age.
Merry Christmas everyone, I hope you can find your reason for the season.*
