I was not expecting to be touched by what I thought was a routine self-introductory speech exercise Communication professors like myself conduct as part of the course introduction and orientation during the opening of the new academic year. It was the first week of face-to-face classes since the COVID-19 pandemic by the way. The candid sharing of stories of students got me to reflect and be grateful that I get to not just teach but also learn from my interaction with the young.
There are more or less forty students in the class. After more than half of the class were done with their self-introduction, a timid young lady who we will call Jill (not her real name) slowly got on the platform and faced her classmates. Then in a very soft voice she began to speak. Everyone in the room sensed her hesitation and felt her fear while she was forcing words out of her mouth, some barely audible. I was just a few inches away from where she was standing, so I could still hear what she was sharing despite her tiny voice.
When she reached that part where she honestly told us that speaking in front of people is a great ordeal for her, the vocal tremor started, followed by the shaking of her hands and the pauses she had to take in an attempt to compose herself. But despite the manifestations of stage fright, she never stopped talking. She went on saying, her fear of speaking in front of people is caused by a very traumatic experience when she was in Grade 5. Her tiny voice was often the subject of ridicule of people whenever she spoke in front of a crowd when she was younger. Tears welled up in her eyes. This time she was already covering her eyes while she was doing her best to finish the exercise. Some of her classmates were in tears already while attentively watching and listening to her. There was empathy. Clearly, she made a connection with her audience and that judging from the non-verbal feedback of her classmates, most of them were able to relate to Jill’s story and were sympathetic to the storyteller.
And when I thought I had already been served my dose of feel good stories for the day, a male classmate who was seated in front of Jill handed her his handkerchief to wipe her tears. Such a simple yet big gesture of chivalry! Concern was evident in his sincere action. What he did was very comforting and gave his classmate an assurance that she was in a friendly and caring and safe crowd. More importantly, she was perfectly understood.
I shared the story to psychologists I know and they all had similar expert opinions. Jill did not give up no matter how difficult the task was because she felt empowered by the presence of her classmates which made the exercise a genuine human interaction. She was surrounded by people she knows and trusts. While she was sharing her story, she could hear the silent cheer of people encouraging her to keep going. She knew the crowd would understand if she would momentarily have to pause or be silent before finishing a sentence. The smiles and approving nod were enough to warm her chills. It was comparable to having a cheering squad, only a silent one, but better.
Another story that hit me was that of Vernon’s (not his real name). He gave us no hint of insecurity when he went up the stage and faced his audience. It was only when he temporarily took off his mask that we all found out that he is a Person with Disability or a PWD. Without qualms, he told the class that he has a cleft palate – an opening or split in the roof of the mouth that occurs when the tissue doesn’t fuse together during a child’s development in the womb. Though the gap in his upper lip has been closed through surgery however, his voice is affected as it is breathy, hoarse and has low intensity. This condition is called dysphonia.
I was in awe while watching him confidently and passionately delivering his speech. No dead air. No hesitation. I even remarked “wow!” when he said he was a campus journalist in high school.
Both Jill and Vernon received rounds of resounding applause from their classmates. A manifestation of genuine human connection, appreciation, validation and most importantly, acceptance and support.
I synthesized what took place during the exercise, did a debriefing with the class and reassured them that the school, our classroom, are and will always be safe spaces – shaming and other forms of bullying have no place in our academic space. I impressed upon them to never allow anyone to make them feel small, inadequate, incapable or limit their chances to better themselves, most importantly, to excel.
The stories of students left me teary-eyed. I was deeply moved. I was at the right place at the right time. And then it dawned on me why exactly nothing beats F2F classes! It is the genuine connection and interaction between and among students and their teachers. It cannot be faked. The energy and the vibe are strongly felt. When one feels that he or she is valued and being cared for or that there is genuine concern for his or her well-being, a person’s self-esteem gets a boost. It’s like getting re-energized.
While technology connected the world, it also disconnected us, human beings, because even though technology was created for people to be more social, using the social media platforms and learning management systems resulted in people actually being around people less in real life. No wonder cases of students suffering from mental health issues increased in the past two years of having only online classes.
Indeed, all technological advancements and scientific discoveries can never disprove what Aristotle said, “Man, by nature, is a social animal” and that “society is something that precedes an individual”, because man thrives in interaction. He cannot live alone and not satisfy his need to coexist with other people, to fill his basic needs such as love, friendship and nurturance.
Genuine human interaction is good for the mind and the being because it puts everything in context and helps people endure the hardships and solve problems. Face-to-face engagements or the traditional human interaction, no matter how chaotic or organized, gives us an opportunity to grow and be better human beings.
That is the reason why I was so delighted to see senior students helping freshmen locate their classrooms, free coffee and face masks being offered to anyone who needed either some perking up or a layer of protection from COVID-19 on the first day of F2F classes. These acts reminded me that there is hope in humanity still no matter how prevalent disinformation and bullying are in the virtual world. There is hope! What I have personally witnessed and experienced recently makes me look forward to seeing more acts of kindness as we continue adjusting and adapting to the new normal.
Thank God, hope floats!*
